The 10 Worst Ways to Survive a Down Economy
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I’m very depressed about the stock market. Our relative, who was going to give us a down payment for a house some day soon, has lost like $78,000 in the past month. I won’t get started on this. Instead, I want to offer you some of the worst possible suggestions to surviving the blood bath out there. So, here you go, the 10 Worst Ways to Survive a Down Economy:
1. Stop paying your mortgage. When they come to foreclose on your house, shoot yourself in hopes that the bank forgives the loan, like Fannie Mae did here.
2. Quit doing laundry entirely. Think of all the money you will save- detergent, energy costs, maybe you can even use the saved time to earn some side income.
3. Thinking along the same lines as #2, quit buying all those expensive personal grooming products. I’d keep the toothpaste because otherwise dentists bills might get expensive when your teeth start to fall out, but who really needs shampoo or body wash or soap or deodorant. If no one wants to hang out with you because your plan makes you, ehem, a little less fresh, well think of all the money you’ll save on social activities.
4. Bring a big purse to an all-you-can-eat buffet and wait until no one’s looking. Maybe try to line the purse with plastic wrap or something. Heck, you could probably feed a family of 4 for the price of 1 if you have a big enough bag.
5. Those kids have been freeloading off you long enough. A six year old has got to be old enough to get a job somewhere
6. Got older kids who are thinking about college? Forget it, it’s high time they started paying you back for all those wasted years of income. I hear Burger King is hiring NOW
7. Five finger discount can work to provide you with many of those little luxuries and necessities you just can’t do without
8. Stock market too volatile for you? I hear Vegas has good odds…
9. Road kill for dinner… yum yum! And can’t beat the price
10. I understand that there is a black market for body parts… Do you really need both of those kidneys???
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Step By Step Guide to Grocery Savings
Why Its So Important To Track Your Expenses
My Comment on a Discover Card Commercial With a Terrible Lesson
Lessons My Parents Taught Me About Money
How We Finally Stopped Fighting About Money
How to Save Energy and Impress Your Friends Using X10 Home Automation
